May 3, 2016

One Last Promise - Before I do.

It's hard to confess for a person like me that yes I was scared while waking towards you as a bride to be. I was scared that will I be able to hold your hand in all the storms that will come? Will a extravagant like me will be able to save penny for our first house? Will a messed up person like me will be able to shape up your life? As they say that it's the lady who make a house a home. Will I be able to comfort you with my hug when you will be ailing? Will I be able to look back to you with the same gleaming eyes when we will be in pain , to reassure that things are going to be alright ? Will I be able to stand strong between you and your wish ,if the wish is not in best of your intrest.? Will I be able to hold the grief to myself ,if that should not reach you ? Will I be the same person as a daughter and as a daughter in law ? These are only few of hundreds of them that were dancing in my head as I walked ahead. With each step and each familiar smile I was trying to hold back myself. I was very sure of you being a good life partner but very sceptical about myself.

And then I suddenly looked at the smile on my father's face right after that was one on your's.That was the time when this last promise was made. As my mother says it's not about doing everything thing it's about having courage to do anything, I promised to myself that I will keep the courage. I will grow it with time I will use it on time. I can't promise you to be the best wife in the world but I will keep courage to be the one who make it look worthwhile and together we and find happiness that can last lifetime. I promise you that I will keep courage to keep the book open between you and me, where I can tell you my thoughts right from my heart rather than brain. And when you open up a secret that's not as per my picture perfect husband I promise to keep courage not to react immaturely. To you just help me keep the book open , as I am selfish , I want you close to me all my life through, I want that sweet kiss on my forehead everyday till the last day.

And just to let you know this is not meant to be written for you to read. I wrote this for me and only me as I know the journey is long and I will fail, I will give think of giving up , I will be ready to leave it all. On that day just remind me to read this. This last promise that I did to myself , with gifting you to me as my choice and to best of my understanding. There was no one to force, there were no other reasons to say yes. If I do I should do and I will do.

With Love